The concept of positive parenting may sound strange to some parents. A number of parents generally think that positive parenting is the mode of parenting devoid of strict measures. This write-up has become necessary to draw attention to the deeper meaning of positive parenting. The idea is more than developing the child’s self-control and communication skills. It connotes being role models to children. As a positive parent, one needs to understand the child very well and the most effective way this can be achieved is by sharing your thoughts, ideas, visions and beliefs with your children.
Positive parenting involves teaching children to be morally, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, academically and physically sound. It helps to shape the children to thread on the right path. Positive parenting aids the building of ties with parents and their children. It ensures an all-round development of mutual understanding and a better relationship between parents and children.
Practicing the attributes of positive parenting helps parents to be responsible, responsive and sensitive in their relationships with their children. It encourages a healthy relationship and gives the children the feeling of belonging, acceptance and being loved and wanted.
For a parent to be successful in the art of positive parenting, she must be deliberate about it. She must a have a vision of the kind of children she wants to give to the society and set out on a mission to make it possible. There is no hard and fast rule to it. However, there are some basic guides that will be helpful in achieving the desired results.
A parent should formulate rules for his children to follow. Rules are made to be obeyed and consequences of such actions are always discussed with parents and children. A parent should explain to the children the reason behind the rules that are made, ensure their understanding and appreciation of the morals around the rule and the need to avoid breaking them so much so that the children will own it.
Positive parents should focus on molding their child’s behavior in a positive manner so as to instill discipline and self-restraint. Through this, a child imbibes positive attitude, confident attributes and manners that will enhance her development at home and success outside the home.
Positive parenting ensures parents pay attention to their children’s needs. A parent must always be ready and willing to have a listening ear to the child. A positive parent can never be too busy for his child. He should make himself available and approachable. He should always be ready to advice, counsel and correct the child for wrong steps taken and misunderstanding. It helps the parents to do on-the-spot checks on the children. Anthony Withman’s words that “too much love never spoils children. Children become spoiled when we substitute present for presence” is apt in this regard.
Being a positive parent, one must create an enabling environment and also pay keen attention in studying his child’s development. The end goal as a positive parent is to raise a well-behaved and totally rounded child one and the society can be proud of.
A parent should not be dismayed by the outcome of his efforts in raising a positive child if it is not going the way he desires. Remember that as Sue Atkins said “there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Just be a real one.”
Parenting is not an easy job as all parents know. What is important is pursuing the goal with a clear vision and objective. Where mistakes are made, corrections should also be effected. The role of constant interactions and discovery is important in the process. As time rolls by, as the child grows, so does he also unfold. A positive parent should be sensitive and watchful to ensure that what he sees in his child is part of the vision he set out to achieve. If he is shocked at what he sees, it is never too late to start again.
On a final note, a positive parent should always focus on the problem or the circumstance rather than on the child’s behavior. Remember that as Barbara Johnson said, “to be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.”